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My Blog: BeYouTFull Life

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April 14, 2018

I am a "Peaceful" person. Most people who know me would attest to that. Ironically, I came from a family background of constant and unpredictable arguing and fighting; even physical fighting (probably like many dysfunctional Black families). It usually began early mornings, carried on throughout the day and many times ended late in the night. It happened on weeknights and was really blazing on weekends and holidays. I am sure I decided to find the path of Peace, a lifestyle of Peace, in response to my early childhood experiences.

As a grown woman, a legacy aged woman, I feel that I have achieved a definitive level of peace in my life. The journey was relentless however. It had to be. I pursued the Healing of my Soul in every way I could. As I reflect back on my journey; I probably tried every therapeutic modality available. I read books, listened to tapes, joined groups, stayed in shut-ins, took courses, went on trips, cleansed, fasted, sweated, sat on couches and laid on many tables, all toward my goal of obtaining Peace. I took a "wholistic" approach and it was over many years. Oh, don't let me skip down the road so fast without acknowledging how the journey really began. My Spiritual quest and journey for Peace began in the church. Fortunately, I was born in a generation which was founded on going to church and praising God in everything! Because of this, I felt from a young age, that finding Peace was indeed a spiritual venture.

Fast forwarding to today, I am amazed at the never ending battle for Peace in one's Soul. Though it sounds like an oxymoron, it is true. It's just like the elders said, you have to fight everyday. While I AM Peace, I must fight to hold onto it daily. We all must. I believe that somewhere in our socialization, we were not made to really understand the depths of the struggle. That is, the inordinate amount of strength and energy it would require to possess it daily or even moment to moment. Although it might sound trite, indeed the Mind is the battlefield. The preeminent battle is against the attack on our Thinking. Some days it can be like playing "mental Ping-Pong" all day long. We have to be ever so vigilant over these "things" called thoughts because the invisible hook and thread attached to them are "the emotions." You have to separate them from each other right away. If you allow these two to double team you, you are done! That is why it is so important to kill defeating thoughts immediately! by whatever means necessary. You have to figure out your unique warfare instruments (weapons) and swiftly deploy them in your Mind battle. must not get faint or tired. It's a luxury that we just can't afford. As The Word says Beloved, "don't get weary in your well doing", which is definitely much easier said than done. I am fighting for My Life right now to maintain my Peace in the face of a seemingly major blockage. Most days, I am victorious. Then there are moments when it seems like everything is spinning and I say, "what is going on?" But then...I press, pray and persist until I feel the change come. I breathe and then I stand in Victory once again. I reclaim my space of Peace and encourage you to also. Fight for your Peace like your life depends on it...because it does!

Loving I AM, QueenNE

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